Compare & Despair
If your best friend came to you and she was down from comparing herself to another person or player, how would you respond?
My guess is that you’d remind her of all the great qualities she has, all that she’s accomplished and tell her who cares what the other person/player is doing.
It’s funny when others are in this headspace, it’s so much easier for us to lift them up and remind them of how great they are.
But when it’s ourselves we get stuck in a spiral of comparison, that leads to doubt and frustration in that we aren’t like (insert who you’re comparing yourself to here).
Comparing yourself to someone else just isn’t helpful.
It can tear away your confidence. It can lead to doubt yourself and what you’re doing. You’ll question whether you are training enough. You may even change who you are to be more like someone else even if it doesn’t feel like it’s really what you should do.
It can also diminish the motivation you have towards your goals. When you don’t feel like you’re good enough, having that push to accomplish your goals starts to fade away. Or maybe you’ll become avoidant and not wanting to face your goals because you think you’ll never be like so and so.
When comparing yourself you’ll have that feeling of “never good enough”, or “you’re not doing enough”. These are definitely not helpful in allowing you to show up your best and reach your goals.
If you feel like you get stuck in comparison here are a few tips to help you put the focus back on yourself and lift yourself up.
Remind yourself of your unique journey. What are the things you’ve overcome, accomplished, learned, and improved to become who you are today? The truth is that everyone has their own unique journey. So to compare yourself to someone else really isn’t fair. They’ve had a different journey than you. So take a look at your story and appreciate your own unique journey.
Celebrate your qualities, skills, abilities that set you apart or are your strengths. Everyone brings something different, so you probably have something someone else might not have. Focus on those things rather than those areas where you might be lacking.
Know your why. Know why you play and what is important to you. The goals and drive you have is different from everyone else. One of my favorite ways to do this is create a vision board. Even though someone might have the same goal as you on paper, if the two of you created your own vision boards they would look very different. So create your own vision board and know what you're working towards and why.
Lift yourself up! Talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend. Ask yourself if my best friend was saying this same thing or in this same situation, how would I respond? And talk to yourself in that way. The way that lifts yourself up, focuses on positives, and hypes yourself up rather than tears yourself down.
It’s hard to break away from comparisons. Especially in sports where you may feel comparison is normal from coaches or judges. When we feel the judgment, we begin to judge ourselves. If this is you, utilize these tips to help you break out of the habit of comparing yourself to others.
Feel like comparisons are holding you back from being your best in and out of sport? Schedule a consultation to chat about getting out of your head and in the game!