Grieving an Injury

When an athlete experiences a serious injury, the mental toll it takes impacts them beyond their sport. 

Athletes have an identity that is tied to being an athlete. They are a person that plays their sport, practices day in and day out, travels to tournaments, and has big goals in mind. But when an injury occurs it can feel like their athletic identity has been ripped away. 

When an athlete’s athletic identity is at risk due to injury, they will go through a form of the grieving process. 

There are 5 stages of grief, but while they are called stages, it doesn’t mean an athlete will progress through them in the specified order. They may go back and forth between different stages. 

Let’s go through the stages of grief and how it applies to athletes dealing with a serious injury. 

1. Denial - In this stage the athlete will be in denial of their injury. At this point the athlete may be feeling like “this isn’t really happening.” They may even try to continue playing after the injury has occurred even though they know their body doesn't feel right. They may also be in shock as to what has happened and not being able to process the emotions they are feeling.

2. Anger - In this stage the athlete will feel angry about the situation. There may be frustration with the fact that they are injured, that they can’t play, and that they are immobile. This stage can also bring up feelings of helplessness. Feeling like the injury is completely out of their control which will lead to more feelings of anger and frustration. 

3. Bargaining - In this stage the athlete may begin to go through all of the “what if’s” and “if only’s”. They begin to feel like if only they had done something differently they could have avoided the injury. What if they hadn’t done something, then they wouldn’t be in this situation. This is an attempt to rationalize and find answers to why what happened has happened. 

4. Depression - In this stage the athlete will feel deep sadness as they realize the effect this injury will have on their life and athletic goals. In this stage the athlete may be overwhelmed with the recovery process or having to get surgery and be immobile. They may also feel regret for what they were doing when they were injured. And this is when the athlete feels most lonely. As the athlete is taken away from their sport, it’s lonely and they can feel the separation between them and their teammates. 

5. Acceptance - In this stage the athlete is accepting the injury and they may even begin to have hope for their future. They may begin to set goals and think about their return to sport. They start moving forward towards getting back into their sport. 

Not all athletes will go through all of these stages of grief when they experience a serious injury. And some athletes may go up and down between the stages as things come up during their recovery process. But, being aware of what stage you (or the athlete) might be in will help you to know how to mentally address what you are going through. 

Let’s go through each stage again, but address how to support an athlete you know that is injured (or yourself) as they’re in each specific stage. 

1. Denial - Hold space to process what has happened. This means allowing the athlete to express themselves and their feelings as they process it. This is also a good time to journal about what is going through your mind if you are the one experiencing the injury. In this stage it’s essential that the athlete gets to a doctor and receives some clarity and answers in regards to their injury. 

2. Anger - This will be a good time to help the athlete focus on what is in their control. Throughout an injury there is a lot out of their control which will lead to anger and frustration. But helping them to stay focused on what is in their control will ease some of the frustration. In addition, the athlete may feel anger and frustration that they aren’t able to play their sport. So this is also a good time to make time for other hobbies and interests. 

3. Bargaining - When an athlete is going through all of the “what if’s”, this is another good time for them to journal all of their thoughts and feelings. Being able to get it all onto paper helps them to process, as well as keeps them from ruminating over the “what if’s”. Additional mindfulness techniques are helpful during the bargaining stage to relieve stress and anxiety such as deep breathing, meditation, and gratitude. 

4. Depression - This will feel like the lowest part of an athlete’s injury. It’s important that athletes have a strong support system during this stage. Especially with people that are willing to listen and be there. This may also be a good time for the athlete to continue going to games with their team and staying involved with their team to minimize feelings of loneliness. The athlete will benefit from staying engaged with other hobbies and interests in this stage as well. They may also benefit from setting daily goals to give them a focus for each day. 

5. Acceptance - As the athlete begins to accept their injury and have hope for their return, they should focus on their goals and the plan to reach them. At this stage it’s helpful to begin visualizing themselves performing again (while they are still going through rehab). The athlete will also want to focus on rebuilding their confidence so that the return to sport doesn’t feel scary or worrisome. 

Serious injuries are incredibly hard to deal with. So many times I’ve seen athletes go through the grieving process when experiencing a season ending injury. 

Not only do I hope that this helps athletes know that they aren’t alone, but I also hope this will help them manage the mental aspects of their injury. 

If you are an athlete that is grieving an injury, schedule a consultation today! I’m here to support you through the mental ups and downs of injury.