Mental Skills for the Big Moments in Life

As a mental performance coach I always emphasize the importance of using mental skills outside of sport. I know that these skills apply in any area of life. Whether it’s school, relationships with others, dealing with everyday stress you can use mental skills to overcome whatever it is you’re facing.

I had the opportunity to really put these skills to the test as I prepared for my wedding day.

Preparing for my wedding day felt like I was preparing for the championship game of the season. There was so much anticipation about what would happen and how it would go.

There was so much that went into it. Rather than hours of practice it was hours of planning. Every detail was thought out and I ran through every scenario of what might happen. I had scouted it all out and I knew what was needed to make the day a success.

Similarly to a big game, I felt the stress, nerves and anxiety as it got closer and closer.

One thing that helped me navigate all of the feelings, emotions and thoughts was utilizing mental skills. I know had I not used these skills I would have been mentally exhausted. It would have been a lot harder to be present for this incredible day and enjoy it.

Below are the mental skills that I used in order to show up my best on my wedding day.

Skill #1: Goals

Jaiden and I layed out our wedding goals from the beginning. What we wanted it to look like and what it meant to us. We didn’t need all the bells and whistles of a fairytale wedding. What was important to us was celebrating that day with our friends and family. Setting these goals allowed us to have a plan and vision for the day. We were able to firmly say no to the things that didn’t fit this vision. As a result our day was perfect!

Skill #2: Imagery

Yep, that’s right, I used imagery to help me mentally prepare for my wedding day. I visualized what myself and Jaiden would look like. I visualized what the ceremony would look like and played through that moment in my head. I visualized our friends and family having fun and celebrating the day with us. This was one thing that helped ease my nerves and feel less controlling over what was happening on the day of. I’ll be honest, the actual day was 10 times better than what I had visualized.

Skill #3: In or Out of my Control

When planning something big, things happen that are out of your control. When things came up I had to ask myself, “Is this in my control?”. If the answer was “no”, I tried to put my focus into something that was in my control. And, let what was out of my control go. I’ll be honest this wasn’t always easy but it definitely helped relieve a lot of stress.

Skill #4: Zone of Optimal Functioning

On the day of the wedding the butterflies were flying about. All of the excitement and anticipation of this day had my nerves in a flurry. I know that for me high anxiety and nerves usually doesn’t lead to my best performance. So I listened to calming music, took a few moments to myself and utilized deep breathing to keep me in a low zone of optimal functioning. Going into it calm, cool and collected allowed me to enjoy every moment, rather than feel like my heart was going to leap out from my chest.

Skill #5: Deep Breathing

I used deep breathing A LOT when it came to the wedding process. When things came up, I took a deep breath. When I felt stressed, deep breath. When I was nervous, deep breath. Before the ceremony, I had a couple moments to myself. I took that time to sit in silence, savor those couple of moments to myself and took a few deep breaths. After all that went into planning and preparing for that day, those deep breaths allowed me to be in the moment and fully present.

The best thing about mental skills is that your mental game plan doesn’t just come into play for the big game. It comes into play for the big moments in life as well. I want to help you develop your mental game plan so that whether it's a big game or a big moment you have the tools available to put to use.

Schedule a free consultation to begin putting together your mental game plan so that you are mentally prepared for any sport or life situation!